Archive for January, 2009


January 24th, 2009 admin No comments

My relationship with my husband ended over 3 years ago now after a 15 years relationship and whilst I have never got round to sorting out a divorce there has never been any problems and we have spoken only 3 times briefly during those 3 years.  The last time was in November 2007 so a long time back now.

Imagine my surprise when I got woken at 2.12am on Friday morning by my personal phone (which I use as my alarm clock so its on my bedside table next to me) ringing.  I did not recognise the number but all sorts go through your mind when your phone rings out of usual times and I answered it.  A woman’s voice was there asking me if I was (let’s call him for now Jason) Jason’s Sue (not his real name obviously!).  What … what kind of phone call is this?  My brain was trying to wake up too quickly and I could not figure out what on earth was going on.

The woman’s voice was rough … she had the “me ducks” and “flower” and “pet” language that sometimes goes with very local people and as she continued to talk she told me that this was my husband’s number and did I not realise she was ringing on it and that I had to call her the following day.

My brain had not woken up and I had the silly thought was she trying to call me about being on the Angels team.  Stupid I know but you try processing information when suddenly woken from a deep sleep with ease.  She laughed at me and said was I asking her to join and then said I had to call her tomorrow and then hung up.

You know I was really disturbed.  For all I knew something was wrong with my husband and whilst I had not seen or heard from him in 14 months I had no reason to wish him ill.  Could I get back to sleep … it felt like hours before I could!

I rang my husband at his work just after 9am Friday morning.  It was his day off apparently on a Friday.  That made sense … perhaps this was a drunken thing eh?

I rang his phone twice and on the second time it was cut off and then switched off.  I left it be thinking I can’t deal with this now I have work.  Getting to work just before 9.30am I thought, be sensible here Sue something is not right so I sent off a quick text to my husband to ask what on earth was going on.

Entering work within 5 minutes my phone vibrates .. a call from a number I did not recognise came in.  Answering it and quickly going out of the office door a female voice I recognised from the previous night asked me if I was Jason’s Sue again!  God that request gets right up my nose you know … I am no-one’s Sue … I am just Sue and I certainly do not belong to anyone especially not a husband who walked out on me over 3 years back!

This woman was atrocious .. her reason for ringing me … she wanted to tell me she was sleeping next to my husband and they were having it away and oh yes I am sorry for ringing you last night when I was drunk but I thought you should know what I was doing. 

What on earth would anyone want to do that for?  I am so totally not used to that level of society where this sort of thing happens.  I don’t do that to anyone, I had a great relationship with my husband for over 11 years and we were not the type of people to get drunk and ring people so why on earth he was allowing anyone of that level to call his separated wife on his phone at that time of the morning god only knows.  The only thing I could think of was that I was sorry he had dropped his standards that low that he had “hooked up” with such a roughly accented and obviously lower intelligence person who wanted to be so silly when she was drunk.

You know he still has not had the decency to ring and apologise.  I heard nothing (and don’t need to have contact with him) for over 14 months and then I get rudely awakened at 2am by a stupid woman who is sleeping with him.

What is this world coming to when I need to be brought into the dregs of low lifes who enjoy making other people suffer when they can’t hold their drink!  Makes me wonder though what on earth my husband has been saying about my world that this woman was making a slur about it to me.  I think she realised from my conversation though that I was not the type of person to do that again too … silence has reigned since then and long may it continue to do so.

I am still grumpy about this but definitely calming down now but you know what my initial reaction was?  Hurt.  I was really deeply upset by a man who knew me and knew my integrity for 15 years having said something that meant a person he was with felt she had to try and bring me down. 

There is nothing I can say or do as my husband chose to leave me as he felt I had changed far too much since my breakdown in 2001 (which I had changed but everything was always done with his full knowledge) but I really do feel a bit battered from this phone call.  I am not used to low lifes ringing me up in the middle of the night to harangue me … its not where I sit comfortably in life and I will admit that I did think has my husband really a need to bring himself downwards so much that he needs a woman who acts like that? 

Well, no doubt I won’t get to the bottom of this whilst he has maintained his silence and I certainly won’t be acting like the proverbial fishwife and storming off and knocking on his door to ask what the hell he is playing at but I could really do without hassles like this.  I am tired enough with having to be rudely awoken at stupid times by a drunk woman

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