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Fading Memories

January 8th, 2010 admin No comments

Having had a phone call just a short while back, I needed to write my thoughts out as they have given me a troubled head and I know I won’t be able to sleep until I have tried to get them a bit less mixed up.

As many of you who know me well, I entered escorting in February 2005 from the swinging world.  I had been in swinging since late 2002 and had been enjoying myself in all manner of ways.  There have been so many different memories that sometimes its hard to remember all of them but the vast majority of memories leave me with a cynical smile at what I got up to but occasionally I have to go running for my archive of information about who was who.

A couple of people have still found me through Angels but are disappointed when they realise I no longer swing and nor do I escort.  My fun times stopped being fun times and when what you do stops being fun, you should never work in this industry and offer time out if you don’t have your heart in it so obviously I left and as you all know, I run Angels4You Escorts with a serious passion of professionalism. 

One of the people that found me through Angels though rang tonight.  He has rang before but I could not remember him then and I cannot remember him now.  He obviously knows me as certain things he says are definitely a very big part of who I was at that stage of my life but it is annoying the hell out of me that whilst I made that impression on him, I haven’t the foggiest idea at what stage I saw him.  I feel at a real disadvantage here.  Usually I keep really good notes of who I have seen and when because if ever I needed to track anything back then I could at least have a starting point but I cannot remember this one, my records don’t seem to give up information on this person (he calls himself “Adrian” and for confidentiality purposes I have changed that from the name he gave me tonight) but I don’t have an Adrian I saw as a swinger so I am really at a loss to understand why he knows so much about my sexuality! 

I guess I have to accept that my records fell down somewhere along the way – I must have been having too good a time but what is freaking me out is that this is now the third time he has been in touch and each time he purports to wants to book one of the team after trying to flirt with me by telling me what I used to do whilst with him and then never gets round to booking.

For once, I am pretty out of control about this – its not like me to feel so disquieted and out of my depth but my head is starting to say, you are going to have to be hard here Sue and make it clear that you don’t want any further communication because if I am disquieted I learnt a long time back to listen to that gift of fear (The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker) and always trust it so it will be better if I do not accept bookings from him for my team.  I don’t believe even if I have met him that I would have wanted to spend more time otherwise why has my mind not kept him in the special place I have for the other people I met as a swinger.

I hate not being able to remember and perhaps that is why I am perturbed.  Perhaps sleep will allow me to get back some sense of sanity as, after all, I have to struggle with buses and walking again tomorrow as my car still lies buried and I won’t travel on icy roads.  Who knows!

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