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Anonymous Emails

February 17th, 2008 admin No comments

I have been quiet for a few days I know. There has been a lot on my mind and to be honest, it was so crowded that I did not know which was the most pressing in my head that could do with a written airing. I knew I had to write, it is always the best way for me to get issues out of my head and thought about with a bit more ease but which subject is the most pressing … this one is.

As you know I posted one anonymous e-mail a couple of weeks back. Before that, I had had another one and since the one that I posted, I have also had another one. Whoever’s toes I have trodden on has certainly decided that they wanted to find a way to get to me without me being allowed to deal with them in a normal professional manner.

I think I knew that when I came into this world it was more than likely that I would sometimes come across the nasty side of this industry. This industry after all does have its seedy people who see this as a way to earn lots and lots of money with very little effort and when they feel that their income source is being threatened then they can, unfortunately, come out fighting in totally abhorrent and unprofessional ways. It appears that this is what has happened to me because I refuse to be silent about a world that for many of the people within it, is badly run.

In their last anonymous mail this person tells me they have girls who have apparently worked for me from the past that are apparently more than happy to stand up and say that I sold them for sex. Their other comment is that I am an aging politically correct slag whose only career has been youth work and being a politically correct slag. As you know words can hurt and I have finally decided to say that this is what has happened.

Part of the reason I have been quiet is thinking, what is best here Sue, do I just go away and hide in a hole to stop this person from being so cowardly towards me personally or do I continue doing what I enjoy. Well the latter is obviously the course of action I have chosen and I therefore continue to write. If the person wants to continue to behave this way too then so be it. If that is the way they have to be, that is for them to deal with in their way. I can continue to be the Sue I want to be too and I refuse to be pushed into a corner.

If I had continued to ignore this … would this issue have gone away? Dream on Sue because in this world, once a nasty person, always a nasty person and this person will love to know that their sadistic nastiness in their e-mails is getting to me but what is also evident is how many clients and girls who work with me support me.

One person a couple of months back had what he saw as reason to ring me to sound off at me because of my diary (from a private number of course) and at least I was able to talk through their feelings and mine which whilst he did not agree with how I was, I did not agree with how he was but at least we were able to talk as adults, however the person who is sending these e-mails has chosen to do their feelings through anonymous emails and that speaks volumes of the kind of person they are. It’s totally abhorrent to normal society to behave this way as they probably know but dealing with this to me anonymously – why? They obviously must feel very threatened by me being so public in what I choose to do with my life.

At this moment in time, the only thing this person is doing is getting at one person … not the industry … just me. They have made it personal to me because I am visible about what I do and why I do it and how much bad practice is out there, however, if there is one thing I really do hate and that is bullies and bullies who are cowardly as well.

Perhaps their glee at seeing that their last e-mail has given me a lot of thought and has ultimately caused me to again put fingers to keys to update my diary will no doubt mean that I get another shitty (sorry!) anonymous e-mail and so this may just go on and on. But if that is what they are choosing to do then so be it. At least I can rest easy and know that I don’t threaten people to behave according to my say so. Let people be whoever they want to be and at least I know I do it with caring and not downright cowardliness and nastiness.

In the last mail, which I have not published, this person has judged me for being old and not having done anything in my life other than be a politically correct slag and a youth worker. Their standard of being successful to them has been that they apparently have 4 houses, 3 businesses, educated to degree level and achieved all this by the age of 32. But to me, what on earth do I need to be like that for? We are allowed in this world to be the way we choose to be and if this person chooses to read my diary then that is of their own volition but why on earth they want to personally be vindictive in what is my choices in life is totally beyond me. I thought that we were entitled in life to be exactly who we choose to be exactly the way they are entitled to be even though their actions are what most of normal society would see as totally cowardly.

I do choose however not to go away from speaking out simply because people like them want to make another’s life miserable by being a cowardly bully who cannot pick up the phone and arrange a professional meeting to air the grievances they seem to have against my choice of career at this time in my life. I wonder if I should be scared that I may be setting myself up as a very large target. Surely they could not be that nasty and I cannot possibly see why my diary and the way I write should have this effect on simply one person who wants to try and undermine the way I want to be – this is just ridiculous!

A professional slag I was called. Achieved nothing in my life apparently. Aging I have been accused of. Husband I should have was stated. Personally whoever this person is needs to grow up and get a life away from my diary I think unless they have the courage to take this to a professional meeting so that they can, hopefully (although I think I am totally stupid to even think that this person can communicate in any way other than threats and nastiness) get off their chest why they feel I am a threat to them to the extent that vicious anonymous mails have to be sent.

Bullies like to do things anonymously. Cowards don’t know how to behave on a face to face basis – they know how to be nasty in ways that to me are strange but to them they believe that it’s the only thing they should be doing I guess.

I do believe that this issue from this person will go away with time and like all issues in society, if people stop talking about it, issues do tend to die a quiet death most of the time and I know that I am simply scratching a very small slice of this world that I have seen operated by many unprofessionally.

Yes I know that there is likely to be little I can do to stop people like this person threatening me or others but what I also know is that I am staying true to the person I am. I really am glad I started my diary publicly almost a year ago now. My feelings from past experiences are in my other diaries stretching back now to 1989 and its amazing how much peace can come from writing down what another person is denying you the chance to discuss with them and then when you think that you cannot get up after being hurt a quick trip into what happened in the past soon makes me realise that I always get back up on the horse and get on my way again before too long and long may this remain to be the case.

My message after all my musings this evening? Be professional, care about people and care about how you are yourself in whatever way is right for you and if your perception is that you have to have houses and businesses to prove you are successful and that others should be looking up to you because of what you have achieved in materialistic ways then just be that way as it is totally your choice but please don’t push your own choices on others simply because you think everyone has to have your personal outlook. My diary does not make anyone change their ways – it’s a diary for goodness sake not a legal system of the way to be in life!

It is their right the same as mine to do what we want to in life but what I know deep down inside is that my inherent honesty and passion for people far outweighs me ever trying to do to anyone what they are trying to do to me … drive me in a dead-end? I simply work round whatever I can to come back out again. I wonder how long this is going to go on? Oh gosh, just realised … I have gone on and on and on and on and on and on and on …….. doh! Shouldn’t do that – I get told to shut up and stop being a fat old cow when I do that – silly me again! And oh yes, I AM being sarcastic here ….

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